Protege De La Rose Noire

PROTEGE DE LA ROSE NOIRE (2004-HK)
review by Neo

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You know what? Guess what? What the hell am I on about? Actually what the hell was this movie on about? Well, that's the right question to ask. This movie is totally stupid. Actually and in fact absolutely stupid. But as Wong Jing has shown at times stupid movies can be very funny, but just as Wong Jing is very inconsistent with a rate of almost 1/50 chance of a good one, the chances are not looking good at all. Wait, what does this movie got to do with Wong Jing, he is not even the producer, but hey it got all the ingredients for it - totally stupid. Ever felt that a movie really hype you up, think about... Donnie Yen as Director - needless to say more, Barbara Wong who directed the fun and good - Six Storey movie last year, and starring the cutie and cute and cute - Twins and also the Young and Dangerous guy - Ekin Cheng. Alright it looks good until, looking at the movie poster, I was like wow, and it's not in a good way. Yeah right, Ekin as Robin, that's just as cheesy as it good. However Twins does look cute in Black Rose and Teresa Mo does look like one too. Alright, you might not know, but in fact I am a Twins fan, and yup I am gonna be bias, which is kind of excepted being a fan, but this doesn't stop me from saying that this movie is just crap. Alright it is not as crap as say that idiotic - Love is a Many Stupid Thing, which is just plain stupid, but it is not far from being one of the worst movie of the year. Yes, you hear it right, a Twins Fan not promoting their movie, but panning them. Then again, after all I am not that bias am I?

This is what the back cover says: "Charlene Choi & Gillian Chung once again show their acting potential as two adventurous girls who become the students of the legendary heroine Black Rose! They run into a helpful taxi driver (Ekin Cheng) who later joins the reckless team to become the third member within a group of involuntary part-time heroes while the mysteries in the comedy treat Protege de la Rose Noire gradually unfold ..." Hey wait, I have been a Twins fan for quite a long time, but I never knew they even have acting potential? Certainty not at least in my opinion, when even their singing is under some serious questioning, especially their concert ones when their voice are not edited and digitalise on a CD. Just before my fellow Twins fans hate me for disowning them, I must conclude on that issue that I do love Twins. So don't bash me up!

The acting in this movie is mainly another showcase for Twins and when you look at the Box office taking of 9 million, one wonder what the public really think when it earned more money than say A Nite in Mongkok. Geez that is really saying something about HK cinema. With William Hung on the scene, I got a bad feeling about HK cinema, where they can't found a better alternative to Stephen Chow, they go to Ronald Cheng but then what - William Hung??? Come on, he is honestly, a superstar? I think not. I really hope one thing right now that the movie will bomb like shit at the HK Boxoffice, but I got a feeling that it may even do quite well, not because people like him, but because people like myself would be curious to see how stupid he is. Damn, maybe I am guilty as well, damn I am contradicting myself all the time. Well, you get the picture of this movie, when I am talking about William Hung in this review. The only good thing in this movie is the fight scenes, which are OK, but not up to Yen's qualities and Donnie's sister - Chris Yen is the biggest highlight and most welcoming. Hopefully we will see her in more movies.

From this review, one would think that I was sarcastic when I say I am a Twins Fan, but I am really one. You see, no matter how much I like Twins, the movies is accessed on a different level, but an obvious bias would be installed. If I am not a Twins fan, I could picture myself giving this movie like 2/10, but as a fan and as well as remembering Ah Sa cute facial expressions, this movie is actually fun to watch at times, and especially being a Twins fan, the movie is not as bad as I describe. However, if this is what Donnie Yen can offer, after loving his other directorial movie - Ballistic Kiss, this is a shocker and as Twins movie goes, this is as bad as it get. No, not even Ah Sa or Gil cute expression can save this one from sinking and not even Yen's sister can set it back alive, and no not even a gangster (you know who) can force you to watch as this is without doubt one of the worst movie of the year. As for Twins fans, this is the best movie I have ever seen, so don't bash me up!

I rate it 4/10