ALEXANDER (2005-AMERICA)
review by Neo


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Alexander the Great, but Oliver Stone the CRAP!
Some people fight for country, some fight for themselves and some don’t even know why the hell they are fighting for, even when they are remembered in history as the single greatest commander in the whole of ancient and perhaps even modern world. He was a conquer, a hero in hearts of historians, he was Caesar’s superior times a hundred (where Caesar wept at his statue of his great accomplishment at such a young age). Thus, he was a truly a heroic person. However, this movie, and I mean it, from the weird and eerie director – Oliver Stone, Alexander is a confusing and gay and uneven movie. And that’s from someone who has always admired Alexander and has done research on him 5 years ago. This movie without the battle scenes is a total waste of 3 bloody long hours and is the movie confusing? I bet you it is! Why the hell did someone like Stone portray Alexander as so bloody gay, why can’t he realize that in Ancient Greeks times, it was a norm thing, so why not just leave it out, as he did to many great achievements? Personally I have nothing against gay, but Alexander was a HERO – an inspiration, he was famous for his victories – the way he won the bloody battle not for his relationships with whoever it is. To me personally, Stone directed a bad and uneven movie, and not only that – he is not showing his so-called HERO with any respects.

The movie is full of problems – not just that thing but more than that – there is no female lead, the only one is a mother of Alexander – Jolie, but other than that it is just bi-sexual and gays. No offence, think about it? Who knows about Alexander? Who can be certain of his life? Let alone his achievements? Nothing is certain in Ancient History that is what makes it fascinating. In real evidences, I mean primary sources – which they don’t have a lot, I tell you from a historian and non-bias perspective that there is no real evidences to suggest how Alexander really die and whether he was gay or not. So why the hell did Stone do this to his god-damn HERO? Well I guess that he was just confused then.

However the battle scenes are the absolute saving grace and geez it was beautiful and stunning to watch, from the opening scenes against all odds to the terrific artistic finale that draws and copies from Jet Li’s Hero and a dramatic and exhilarating slow motion horse run kill. That shows him as a real HERO, but apart from that few scenes and that ½ an hour the movie is almost dead. Comparing him to Achilles an imaginary or fictional character is stupid as firstly this movie is shitter than Troy and secondly Alexander is by far and more human and better than him.

Although Collin Farrell is one of my favorite Hollywood actor, this is a wrong move for him, although his acting is somewhat good for the stupid direction, it is clear that he was confused in playing the role. One moment he seems gay another moment he is not, and tell me if I am wrong – Alexander was not a confusing person, but one with such a mind that none of the greatest commanders can equal – not even Caesar, nor Napoleon! Angelica the so-called husband stealer famed by the media, was wasted in an eye-catching sexy performance playing SM with a snake (well at least that’s what I though she is doing).

Seriously, Mr. Oliver Stone, your movie was a total failure and why didn’t you just go and donate that amount of production cost to the Tsunami, or just sent it straight to video. Did you know that I tried hard to ignore the critic reviews, because I always admire Alexander? To see this sort of crap about my HERO is not only heartbreaking, but just absolutely disappointing! Ancient History is all about analyzing evidences and forming new opinions, sure Stone tried to do that, but when even the Vangelis music is crap – surely something is wrong. Perhaps it is just Neo, but when a blockbuster like this – ended up with just 30 odd million in US, I guess I am not the only one standing on this. As an ancient history lover, a hero of mine – my heart is shattered and what I really wanna do right now is not to have my money back but I am willing to pay you another movie ticket so that I can forget such a BAD movie.

I rate it 4/10

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Director: Oliver Stone
Starring: Collin Farrell, Angelica Jolie
Length: 170 minutes
Year: 2005
Reviewed by Andrew (Neo), January 2005